Five Guidelines for Teaching the Demanding Kids….

Every teacher remembers his or her first "Demanding kid" experience. Maybe the student ignored

your instructions or hooted at your attempts to exploit the classroom discipline steps. We all have at least one story to share, and for some teachers, teaching a demanding kid is a daily challenge. It seems that no matter what teaching techniques you try to pull out of your educator hat, nothing changes their behavior.

I've had the opportunity of teaching a few demanding kids. I say "opportunity" for a cause. Teaching these students pressed me to be a better educationalist and a more concerned person. I've detailed below five methods that have reduced misconduct in my classroom and, better still, helped transform these students into leaders among their peers.

1. Situate the Attitude

I firmly believe that a student's misbehavior in the past does not necessarily equate to future indiscretions. At the beginning of the school year, I would walk down to the sixth grade teachers with my new class lists and ask questions. I would inquire about who works well together, who probably should not sit next to each other, and who caused them the most grief. Not surprisingly, teachers would share the names of the same students that were their "demanding kids." If I had the privilege of having any of these students in my class, I looked forward to it instead of dreading it.

Usually during the first week of school, I would try to have individual conferences with these demanding kids. I'd take this as an opportunity to clear the air and wipe the slate clean. Often, these students can feel disrespected because their teachers already have preconceived ideas about how they are the troublemakers. Explain that you respect them and have high expectations for them this year. Lay the foundation for the student's understanding that you believe in him or her, because you might be the only one who genuinely does.

2. Be a Counselor

Unfortunately, it has been my experience that some of the demanding kids to teach come from very difficult home situations. Inconsistent housing, absentee parent(s), lack of resources, and violence are only a few examples of what some of these students have to face every day. Kids that are neglected at home can act out in school to receive attention, good or bad. They want someone to notice them and take an interest in their lives.

Don’t forget how important you are in helping your students develop not just academically, but also socially. Make an effort to show you care about them, not just their grades. Be proactive instead of reactive. The key to being a good mentor is to be positive, available, and trustworthy. One year with a great mentor can have a lasting, positive impact on a demanding kid's life.

3. Develop Relations

Part of being a great mentor is your ability to make relations with these demanding kids. Since these students sometimes don't have anyone encouraging them or taking an interest in their lives, have a real dialogue about their future or dreams. If they have nothing to share, start talking about their interests -- sports, music, movies, food, clothing, friends, siblings, etc. Find a way to connect so that they can relate to you. Start off small and show a genuine interest in what they have to say. Once you've made a positive connection and the student can trust you, you'd be surprised how fast they might open up to talking about their hopes, fears, home life, etc. This is when you need to exercise professional discretion and be prepared for what the student might bring up. Explain that you do not want to violate his or her trust but that, as an educator, you are required by law to report certain things.

4. Seize it Face-to-Face (In a Good Way)

Teachers need to have thick skin. Students may say things in an attempt to bruise your ego or question your teaching abilities. Remember, we are working with young children and developing adults. I'm sure you said some hurtful things that you didn't mean when you were growing up. Students can say things out of frustration or boredom, or that are triggered by problems spilling over from outside of your classroom. Try to deal with their misbehavior in the classroom -- they might not take you seriously if you just send them to the office every time they act out. These are the moments when they need a positive mentor the most.

Once trust has been realized, remind these students that you believe in them even if they make a mistake. I've vouched for kids during grade team meetings only to have them get into a fight at lunch the same day. They make mistakes, just like we all do. It's how we respond to their slip-ups that will find out if they'll continue to trust us. Explain that you're disappointed in their actions and that you know they can do well again. Don't write them off. Demanding kids are used to being dismissed as hopeless. Instead, show them that you care and are willing to work with them. Helping a demanding kid overcome personal issues isn't something that happens overnight, but it is a worthwhile investment in his or her future.

5. Anticipate Anything & Everything!

All of our students come from a diversity of cultures, nationalities, and home surroundings and these five techniques that have worked for me might barely scratch the surface of how you interact with the demanding kids in your classroom. If you have another method that has helped you reach out and connect to a demanding kid, please share it below in the comments section.

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