3 Tips for Serving Your Child’s Conduct

Chat & Listen

Tip 1: Chat & Listen

As we know, all children are unique. Getting to know your own child, and knowing what makes them

angry or agitated can help you prevent angry or upsetting situations before they happen.

Talking and listening to your child helps them to understand what’s going on:

Language: Try to use positive words. Tell your child what you want them to do, not what you don’t want them to do. Instead of “don’t make such a mess” try “tidy up your toys please”. This is an example of positive parenting.

Change your tone: Your voice is a powerful tool. Sometimes changing your tone or volume can be enough to stop a fraught situation or get your child to do what you want. This can work equally well with older children. If you react or speak in a completely different manner to which they expected they might be surprised.

Listening: Your child is trying out his/her new language and needs to be heard. Encourage your child to talk to you – sit beside him/her – they’ll find it easier to talk and listen to you if you’re not standing over them.

Feelings: Help them find the words to tell you how they are feeling, even if it takes time.

Explaining: If you have to say ‘no’, give your child a good reason and offer an alternative – “Rosie is playing with the doll now, let’s find you another toy”.

Involve your child: Where possible talk with them about the rules and what you expect from them. Be clear.

Discussion: As they get older discuss the setting of rules with them. Tell them you love them, and show them by smiling, cuddling and kissing them. Tell them when you are cross, or when you are not

happy with their behavior. They need to realize that it’s the behavior you don’t like and not them.

Tip 2: Play with your Child

Play with your Child

If children are playing, they are less likely to be posting the remote control in the bin or wrestling with a brother or sister! If you’ve got a lot to do in a short space of time, set up an activity that will give you that all important extra half an hour. Play is important and enjoyable, and children can learn a lot from it. Children need time to play on their own, with others and with their parents, as long as they play safely.

A few ideas for play might be:

Painting, drawing and coloring: Children enjoy creating works of art and the messier the better! 

Water: A washing up bowl of water and a couple of cups or a plastic jug can keep a toddler busy for ages.

Imagination: Get out some teddies and dolls and create a tea party, a zoo made up of all sizes and shapes of toys or arrange a ‘shop’, with some of the (unbreakable) contents of your kitchen cupboards –let their imagination run wild.

Keep it simple: Try to keep a box of toys, crayons and play dough handy and make the most of bath time for playing with a couple of cups and a sponge.

 Join in: Once you’ve got everything out of the way, take five minutes to get into what your child is doing – show them that what they’re doing is important.

Tip 3: Understand Changes As They Grow

Understand Changes As They Grow

Children’s needs and understanding change as they grow, and what might be expected of a four-year-old can’t be expected of a two-year old:

Exploring: Young children find out about their world by touching, shaking, tasting, pouring, queezing…the list is endless! This isn’t naughtiness, but a way of learning about their world. Make your home ‘toddler proof ’ by storing valuables and breakables away from your child so they can explore safely. The mess of life with a toddler can be exhausting but think of all the learning they’re doing!

Independence: Part of growing up for your child will be pushing against the boundaries and becoming an individual. You can help them by letting them do as much for themselves as possible

– for young children, keep toys at a child’s height, let them dress and feed themselves.

Encouragement: Your child will learn what’s ok to do from you, so give lots of praise and attention to good behavior. If you only pay attention to your child when they misbehave, they’ll learn to misbehave to get your attention.

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